You know you’re not supposed to laugh, but that’s what makes these one-liners so good.
We’ve got all the bad-but-good one-liners you need.Tim Robberts / Getty Images
Jan. 2, 2024, 11:09 PM GMT+5 / Updated Sept. 13, 2024, 8:48 PM GMT+5
By Sarah Fielding and Sarah Lemire
You have to admit that dad jokes — silly as they are — are still pretty hilarious.
Even better are the bad jokes that you totally know you shouldn’t laugh at, but they’re so awful, you simply can’t help it.
We’re talking about the kind of gags that border on insensitive and are even a little offensive, which is exactly what you’ll find in the collection of dark humor jokes below.
From warped one-liners to cringey wisecracks on marriage, work, family, money, death and every other touchy subject you can think of, this compilation of terrible gags is bound to make you snicker, even if you know you probably shouldn’t.
For example, did you hear about the guy who didn’t talk to his wife for a week? He didn’t want to interrupt her.
Then there’s the tried-and-true classic: My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
If you like those, you’re going to absolutely love this collection of dark humor jokes that probably aren’t for the kids, family gatherings or coworkers. But for everyone else who appreciates a mildly inappropriate joke or two, this one’s for you.
Best dark humor jokes
- Bacon and eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
- What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter. He’s not coming either way.
- They say three out of five people suffer from a chronic disease. Does that mean two of them enjoy it?
- I don’t really like camping. Then again, I don’t enjoy anything in tents.
- I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. But then I turned myself around.
- Did you hear about the elderly man who fell into a well? Apparently, he couldn’t see that well.
- Did you hear about the octopus that held up a bank? It was an armed-robbery.
- George Washington never got a good night’s sleep. Apparently, he had a problem lying.
- How many feet are there in a yard? It depends on how many people are standing there.
- I once thought about studying sodium. Then I thought, “Na.”
- What do you call someone who loves Mondays? Retired.
- Harry Potter was driving down the street. Then he turned into a driveway.
- Did you hear about the paint boat that sank? All the sailors were marooned.
- Why did the statue leave her husband? She was tired of being taken for granite.
- Did you hear about the two golf courses that fell in love? It was a lawn-distance relationship.