What do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? A Do-you-think-he-saw-us!
Assistant: So what dimensions do the doors, hinges, walls, and locks need to be so that it all fits? The person who invented public bathroom stalls: Can’t stress how unimportant that part is
Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player? Because to them… love means NOTHING!
What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
What’s a potato’s favorite form of transportation? The gravy train
What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved.
What did the right eye say to the left eye? Honestly, between you and me something smells.
What do you call a dog that’s been run over by a steamroller? Spot!
Why it is hard for a communist to tell a joke? It’s not funny until everyone gets it.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One’s pretty heavy and the other’s a little lighter
Teacher: “Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up!” *Nobody stands up*
Teacher: “I’m sure there are some stupid students over here!” *Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: “Ohh, Johnny you think you’re stupid?” Little Johnny: “No… I just feel bad that you’re standing alone…”
Why don’t scientists trust Atoms? They make up everything.
Two whales walk into a pub. They take a seat at the bar and the first one turns to the bartender and says: “Whhhhhoooooaaaaaeeeeeyyyyiiiiiaaaalllllllooooaaaaauuu?” The second one turns to the first and says, “Shut up Fred, you’re drunk.”
