These clever one-liners devoted to bloodsuckers are totally neck level.
These entertaining one-liners totally don’t bite.Getty Images
Aug. 18, 2024, 12:59 AM GMT+5
By Sarah Lemire
With Halloween fast approaching, there’s no time to waste picking out this year’s costume. If your first choice is dressing up as a vampire, then you’re not alone. In fact, dressing up as Dracula is one of the most popular Halloween costumes there is.
Even though vampires are pretty much murderous monsters, people are still obsessed with them right down to their supernatural powers and mysterious names, with some even believing that vampires are actually real.
Whether you believe or not, you may be in the market for a few vampire puns to pay tribute to the beloved bloodsuckers. Fortunately, we’ve got a collection of clever one-liners that, if you don’t mind us saying, we think are pretty fangtastic.
From short Halloween puns like, “Fangs for the memories” to funny wisecracks for couples like, “With this ring, I thee undead,” these amusing puns completely suck. In all the right ways, of course.
In the list below, you’ll find all kinds of corny sayings that riff on bats, bites, necks and just about everything else you can think of relating to our fanged friends.
Use these inspired vampire puns for Instagram or however else you see fit. Whatever you decide on, this much you can, ahem, count on: These entertaining one-liners totally don’t bite … or do they?
Best Vampire Puns
- Fangs for the memories!
- This sucks.
- Bite me.
- Sucks to be you.
- Have a fang-tastic day!
- Blood brothers.
- I can really sink my teeth into this.
- It’s the most wonderful time of the fear.
- Totally batty.
- I’ve got a bat breath problem.
- Vampire laptops: They totally byte.
- Let’s take this to the neck level.
- This is the final nail in the coffin.
- All is calm, all is fright.
- Fang you. Fang you very much.
- Stake it or leave it.
- Total pain in the neck.
- Buffet the Vampire Slayer.
- Undead as a doornail.
- One foot in the grave.
- Leave no tombstone unturned.
- Just wingin’ it.
- Footloose and fang-cy free.
- Let us give fangs.
- My favorite day of the week is Thirst-day.
- Like a bat out of hell.
- You’ve made a grave mistake.
- Just enrolled in a crash corpse.
- Hang in there!
Vampire Puns for Couples
- It was love at first bite.
- I’m batty for you.
- Don’t ever cross me.
- You’re just my blood type.
- Caught in a bat romance.
- I’ve been dying to meet you.
- You leave a bat taste in my mouth.
- I’m O-positive for you.
- We’ve got bad blood.
- Why so crypt-ic?
- Bat-ting a thousand.
- You make my blood boil.
- I’m your biggest fang.
- We will never love in vein.
- You hold the spoo-key to my heart.
- You’re drop-dead gorgeous.
- Let’s hang out. Literally.
- With this ring, I thee undead.
Funny Vampire Puns
- All hands on neck!
- Never met a vampire I deadn’t like.
- Tomb it may concern …
- Bat to the bone.
- Having a bat hair day.
- Let’s get this party star-dead!
- Knock ’em dead.
- Dying of thirst.
- Over my dead body.
- Put a stake in it.
- Let’s play hide-and-go-shriek.
- Casket-ball, anyone?
- The best fang for your buck.