Check out some of our colleagues’ best jokes over the years – from one-liners to knock-knock jokes and more!
One-liners
- I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places – he told me to stop going to those places.
- This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.
- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes.
- I was at the park wondering why this frisbee kept getting bigger… and then it hit me.
- Two fish in a tank, one looks at the other and says, “How do you drive this thing?”
- Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening,” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
- When I met my now wife, I asked if she was vegetarian because she really loved animals. She responded, “No, I just really hate vegetables.”
- I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is “Goodbye.”
- I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
- My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
- My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
- Have you heard about the guy who stole the calendar?! Well, he got 12 months!