Skeleton Jokes for Halloween

• What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
• How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
• Why did the skeleton skip the prom? It had no body to go with.
• Why don’t skeletons like the cold? It’s bone-chilling.
• What did the skeleton bring to the cookout? Spare ribs.
• Why don’t skeletons skydive? They don’t have the stomach for it.

• What do you call a skeleton that won’t do any work? Lazy bones.
• How do skeletons start their cars? With skeleton keys.
• Why did the skeleton put on a sweater? It was chilled to the bone.
• Why’d the skeleton go the grocery store? Its pantry was down to the bare bones.
• Why did the skeleton laugh? Something tickled its funny bone.
• What do skeleton dogs eat? Milk bones.

Pumpkin Jokes for Halloween

• How do you mend a broken gourd? With a pumpkin patch.
• What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.
• Why do pumpkins bar hop? To get smashed.
• What’s a pumpkin’s favorite fruit? Orange.
• How do little pumpkins cross the road? With the help of a crossing gourd.
• What kind of pumpkins work at a pool? Life-gourds.

• Why didn’t Cinderella make the soccer team? Her coach was a pumpkin.
• Who rules the pumpkin patch? The pump-king.
• Why did the pumpkin go to jail? It had a bad seed.
• What kind of canine do pumpkins prefer? Gourd-dogs.
• How do pumpkins get paid? With pumpkin bread.
• How do pumpkins quit smoking? They use a pumpkin patch.