- What’s a vampire’s favorite kind of dog? A bloodhound.
- Where do vampires deposit their paychecks? At the blood bank.
- Did you hear about the vampire feud? There was bad blood.
- What do you call vampire siblings? Blood brothers.
- How can you spot a wealthy vampire? It has blue blood.
- What happens when vampires get mad? It makes their blood boil.
- How do vampires flirt? They bat their eyes.
- Why did the vampire get glasses? It was as blind as a bat.
- Why did the vampire go to the dentist? It had bat breath.
- Why don’t vampires get invited to parties? They’re a pain in the neck.
- Did you hear about the vampire romance? It was love at first bite.
- Why did the vampire go to the doctor? It was coffin.
- What shouldn’t you serve a vampire for dinner? Steak.
- Did you hear about the new vampire laptop? It bytes.
- Why do vampires avoid the cold? They don’t want to get frostbite.
- Who won the vampire race? No one — it was neck and neck.
Witch Jokes for Halloween
- Why do witches fly on broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
- What do you call two witches who live together? Broommates.
- What should you get a witch on her birthday? A charm bracelet.
- What do witches’ study in school? Spelling.
- What’s a witches’ pick-up line? Hey, you’ve got hex appeal!
- Where do witches park? In the broom closet.
- Did you hear about the witch that got school detention? She was ex-spelled.
- Did you hear about the witch that couldn’t find work? It was a dry spell.
- Why do witches drink beer? They enjoy a good brew.
- Why did the witch cancel her speech? There was a frog in her throat.
- Why did the angry witch leave her broom at home? She didn’t want to fly off the handle.